3 June 2005 15:51 pm
It seems like all we do these days is write about Lindsay Lohan. Of course the acceptation to the rule here will be that we won’t be reviewing Herbie: Fully Loaded. Disney must have known they were cutting half their audience when they used CGI to reduce Lindsay’s breast size.
Still though, if most of the reviews are to be believed, the film could not be any worse than Confessions of a teenage drama queen. Scoring a massive 14% on Rotten Tomatoes rating scale and the most prominent critics dumping all over it almost all the way, it was never going to be a genre defining film. But did it keep me entertained for the ninety minutes? Almost.
Normally I have a pretty relaxed attitude towards films and try to defend some of the criticisms of them. The problem is here, when people are making statements like, the movie has no plot, I have to agree with them. What exactly did happen in the movie I just watched?
It’s one of those movies where it is so bad that it is funny though. I don’t mean like poor quality bad I mean like Hollywood-bad. Like Crossroads, or maybe that was just truly bad. It’s hard to describe but it does give you a laugh. Like when Mary-Kate does martial arts in New York Minute. It’s such a bad part of the script it’s just hilarious.
Lindsay, or at least her character provides some good entertainment. Playing a girl called Mary though who has everyone calling her Lola, is kind of like a younger version of Paul Finch from the American Pie series, she is very egotistical and self-important which produces funny results in a character of that age.
That said, I found that amusing, the younger target audience of the film would not find it so amusing. Mainly because they simply wouldn’t understand it. The film is either really badly written when thinking about its audience or the funniest trait of the character was created by accident.
Though the movie has no real plot and is more of just a bunch of things happening, the basic outline is, Lola / Mary / whatever’s family are moving from New York to New Jersey which annoys her as she wants an acting career. Then her favourite band split up, she goes to their final concert, isn’t even allowed in, and ends up dancing with one of the band. Who didn’t see that one coming? Just once I want to see the bad girl win in one of these films.
Lindsay Lohan at least gives some substance to the movie though she basically seems to have been given stage directions of “basically an older version of your Parent Trap performance.”
The fact is though that teen/pre-teen boundary movies are usually pretty bad and this one doesn’t even measure up that them. It is devoid of any kind of plot, creative thinking or slight deviation from the stereotypical elements that make a bad genre movie.
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